trying something new

well i have been trying to turn my life around yesterday i went to church and it felt really good i am so not bout to get churchy but i do know that i have to get my mind and life right.I started my ged classes i am pretty happy about that what i am not happy about is how much time it is going to take me to get that damn math together i really need a tutor its getting real out here and i am learning to think before i speak which is so hard to do but i now know that everybody cant take the truth i must hang around a whole lot a fake people soon as i be real people get an attitiude but oh well if you dont want to here my feedback to the problems that you are bringin to me then keep that shit to yourself. I am noticing alot of fake shit going on now that i am trying to clear my mind and its hurtful but its also good to be able to open my eyes from being blind for so long so i am happy that my mind is getting clear. I am also trying to stop drinking which is going to be hard since its what i use to keep me from going in people mouth now when people piss me off and lord knows that happens so often im a just have to say a prayer for my sanity for my anger not to come over me and seriously hurt somebody. I have to learn to just enjoy life and tkae whatever i can get out of it. somebody told me i ahd to much pride just because i rather struggle aand stress that to ask for something and i ahte to break pride down people say that word and they dont know the true meaning of it and i am having offended by that comment i dont have to much pride i just know that i dont have anybody that is truely in my corner to ask for anything they call it pride i call it not wasting time or breath well in these days, weeks ,and months hopefully i will grow to be a better me im hoping for pray for me good day

the struggle to keep my faith

i have always tryed to be the best i can be and do the best i can do but right now in these days weeks and months that have passed its so hard to keep my faith its so hard to keep telling myself that everythings going to be alright everything will fall in place im going to make it through the day, its getting real real out here and i think im breaking down i feel that im letting the devil take over my body and im getting so close to giving up. the devil is really on my back breathing on my spine trying to break me down and im trying so hard to keep my faith u see everything i try to do right there he is fuckin it up for me i went to a job interview thinking i was bout to get my second job i was so excited but they sent me an email and told me they went with their other choice i was so disappointed scratch that i am disappointed please help me keep my faith for i fear something terrible will happen if i let this devil in my body im trying my hardest to stay positive which is why he is really riding me im trying so hard to change my life around for the better thats why he wants to taste my blood he doesnt want me to succeed he wants me to stay by his side but im not going to be able to do it i will just be with nothing before i let the devil break me the faith i got it and im trying my hardest to keep it.