lonely

lonliness is the saddest thing i hae ever felt yearning needing wanting to be held, loved, kissed, carressed. where did it go how do i get it back i miss it so much im sad its out my rech. i feel so sad inside i dont know why  i try to keep a game face on the outside and be so weak on the inside it hurts so bad. its not only a mans love i yearn for but its the love of family and friends its so tiring tryimg to keep up this charade paradeing around like i dont give a fuck when deep inside i do i o care i am sad im not proud and i do hurt so bad. its strange the only way i can truely express myself is though pen and paper its the only thing that doesnt judge cantget offended or catch an attitude its my lifeline to the world its what i do best its the only time i dont feel so bad when i say what i feel. somtimes i fel my loneliness go away but its not for long it always comes back. i try to surpress it i cant express it its loneliness the only thing i know.

what happens when death becomes her

have you ever just stopped to think that this is actually real life that you are living and that one day you are doing to die. i think bout it all the time and i have no problem with being dead one day my problem is wondering if there really is an afterlife whether its heaven or hell will my soul really be going somewhere besides being six feet in a whole im just scared that theres no afterlife and i wont be able to look down and watch out for the ones i loved and left being is there rebirth and dieing doesnt bother me its the affects of what happens after that gets to me.

im feeln some kind of way

sotions that came out talkd to the ex tonite and there was alot of feelings and emotions that came out really trippn bout how  i act in a relationship i need more practice inn caring bout others feelings and realizing that what i do affects both partys im really tryn to change and grow as a woman he just told mme some words of wisdom that i really need to take into affect for my future relationships got to get it together